Tipping and sex

Three women are at an exclusive health club in Miami. They are debating how much to tip the towel boy. Edith says, "I'll give him five bucks". Esther says, "I'll give him ten". "What about you, Ethel, what are you going to tip him?", asked Edith. "I'm going to give him sex", she said. "Huh? Are you crazy?" asked Esther. "No, in fact I was wondering about this yesterday, so I called my husband, and I say, Benny, how much should I tip the towel boy?" "Fuck 'em", he said.

We are vikings

- If people ask you, tell them you're a viking.
- And a Norwegian?
- Nah, it might sound as if you were bragging.

People are inherently good

Each of us is a mixture of some good and some not so good qualities. In considering one's fellow man it's important to remember the good things ... We should refrain from making judgments just because a fella happens to be a dirty, rotten SOB

How do you get down from an elephant?

You don't get down from an elephant, you get it from a goose.

Forgiveness

General Norman Schwartzkopf was asked about forgiving the terrorists responsible for the Attack on America. He is alleged to have responded by saying, "I believe that forgiving them is God's function. Our job is simply to arrange the meeting."

Problems ...

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I have a problem with dontopedalogy; I open my mouth and promptly put my foot in it. It is also known as “foot in the mouth disease”.
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Happiness

Happiness is a positive cash flow!